BEYOND THE SCARS

　　~Who knew in this course of love, all will have a different path?

　　The sky was illuminated by the stars surrounding the full moon, lightening everything below them. Even in the dark night, they were the source of guidance and light for people. Isnt it amazing, how the stars are too fond to be fearful of the sky? Thats how you came into the world like a star without a name yet you move against the limits and far beyond the reach to make yourself known.

　　A silhouette of a man could be seen sitting on the sea shore, looking at the sea. The vastness of the sea looked like a source of light but he knew deep down it was dark. There were many depths of the sea where the rays of the sun never invaded.

　　His heart was just like these depths of the sea. Majestic yet hollow, living his life just like a robot without feeling anything apart from coldness, cruelty, and darkness. He had a very good self-realization. He knew his mind was getting zoned into a self-destructive nexus yet he couldnt help it. There was nothing that could make this insecure and vulnerable man believe in himself. That despite being scarred, dejected, and on the verge of crisis, he still was someone who hid an unraveled world inside him. Ready to be discovered and turned into a force to be reckoned with.

　　He wasnt always like this but everything boiled down and shattered when he found that his father was dead. What was it, the lack of financial assistance, the cold-heartedness of his family, or losing a child that buried him six feet under the ground?

　　Zander Svein was just a little kid who searched for his solace in his parents arms. The day he realized that his father died, leaving him and his paralyzed mother alone was the day he found this world a dark place. He started to see only evil everywhere. All the innocence rooming within him faded.

　　But at the same time, he kept him alive inside a corner of his heart. Doing good stuff in the name of his beloved father, as much as his nominal pay allowed him. And that too came to a pause when his mothers condition worsened, leading to the discovery of her terminal cancer and her paralyzed self being hospitalized.

　　He closed his eyes in defeat. This one corner of his life was absolutely fucked up!

　　He gazed at the dark sky through the cap of his black, roughed hoodie, trying to find the face of a person among the stars, even if for a moment to just have a glimpse of his father smiling at him.

　　Whenever you miss me, just look up to the high sky and remember I am a star, sometimes you wont see me but I am always there.

　　The flimsy hues of orange and yellow brightening the sky jarred him out of his reverie. Indicating the arrival of another highly exhausting and depressing day.

　　Zander let out a long breath. It was cold and freezing, and his old, ragged hoodie was not doing much to make him feel warm. Yet, it was the only best option he had out of the three winter accessories he possessed.

　　With a heavy heart, exhausted mind, and worn-out look, the twenty-year-old adjusted the cape of his hood as best as he could to avoid pitiful and revolted looks. Ducking his head down, he started trotting past the confines of the sand surrounding him, back to his not so loved world. But even then a remnant of determination swirled in his heterochromatic forest green and hazel eyes.

　　"Shit! Im going to be late for work." Zander cursed looking at the thin strap watch on his wrist and rushed towards the crappy-looking building, overlooking the some people that were sitting there either high on drugs or on the verge of passing out from heavy drinking or beating from the police.

　　Having no time to pity him or his situation, he rattled the doorknob of the apartment with the keys and rushed inside. The familiar scene of his best friend passed out on the couch with his books greeted him.

　　Flashing a small smile to his nerdy friend, he ran to the bathroom to take a shower and then proceeded to get dressed in his ugly work clothes, mustard yellow shirt, and then khaki pants. For a brief moment, his eyes collided with his reflection in the mirror.

　　"You are so scary."

　　"You are an abomination to society. Look your sins are imprinted on your face."

　　"No one will ever love a monster-looking person like you."

　　The words of people haunting him filled his ears once again as his fingers drifted to the dark black spots that covered half of his neck and the left side of his pale face.* ( It happens to people born with a pigmentation disease, called Cafe au la spot).*

　　Jerking his fingers back, he steered his gaze away from his face just like every other day and brushed his hair, before walking to the front of the apartment.

　　"Morning sunshine." Tobias smiled at him. His curly brown hairs were falling all over his face.

　　"Morning, Shithead." Zander smiled back. If there was anyone in this world whom he loved other than his mother, it was his best friend since childhood Tobias Henderson. He was a struggling person like him, his parents were dead with no one to cater for. Being a bright student he was able to get a scholarship and was in the final year of college.

　　"I am getting my paycheck tonight, so you better be home early for some steak treat." His shrill sound pierced his ears as he tied his shoelaces.

　　"You dont have to Tobias, save it for the car you wanted you to buy. You are already doing more than you should be, by letting me in this apartment free of rent and grocery." Zander replied with a weak smile but his voice was full of gratitude.

　　"You arent getting over that right? Even in a million years." Tobias rolled his eyes before throwing a glare at him.

　　"Thats because I can never pay you back, even in a million years." Zander shrugged, pulling a cap over his head.

　　"I am so touched by your heartfelt words, Mr. Svein." Tobias dramatically dabbed his fake tears before squinting his eyes again in a glare.

　　"Now get your ass out of this house and be back by the dinner or otherwise be ready to receive an earful from Aunt Agnes when I tell her how badly you hurt me."

　　Zander rolled his eyes.

　　"Fine, I will try but no promises because I am going to visit Mom in the evening. Its been long since I spent some quality time with her."

　　"She knows that you are working your ass off just to see her living and healthy. Will you just haul yourself out of that Goddamn guilt hole?" Tobias reasoned, keeping his tone as soft as possible.

　　"I am getting late for work. Bye." was his sullen reply as he walked out of the apartment.

　　Although it was January the temperatures reached minus 10 degrees and he just had on a frail grey sweater over his work uniform. He walked to the bus station and waited for his six fifteen bus.

　　……………..

　　He arrived at Jerrys Diner just in time. Punching in the code,he walked behind the counter where two other waitresses were serving the customers.

　　The bell rings signaling someone has arrived and his eyes went to the door. In came a tall woman with dirty blonde locks and vibrant green eyes.

　　"Good morning, what can I get you?" Zander asked as he took out his notepad and pen.

　　He looked down a little to see her staring at him with disgust. She was very pretty but her face was contorted in an unholy way as the person in front was a dumpster.

　　Zander ignored her look and continued to wait for her order. It wasnt something new for him. He had gotten used to disgusted looks and degrading remarks thrown at him.

　　"A regular latte and a chocolate donut." She stated in a haughty tone.

　　Zander walked over to the coffee machine and start making her latte

　　before walking back to the counter and handing her the donut.

　　When the latte is finished he poured it into a coffee cup and placed the lid on it before handing it to the lady.

　　With an arrogant stance, she handed the money for the stuff and walked out of there.

　　Zander rolled his eyes at her action before turning back to the counter. One of his coworkers walked through the doors causing a smile to spread across his face because unlike other people she didnt consider him as a monster or abomination. Her cheerful attitude did lighten up his day despite the swirling tensions in his mind.

　　She rounded the counter and gave me a hug which he returned.

　　"Hey, Jane," Zander stated as he pulled away from the hug.

　　"Hey Zander, has it been busy?" She asked and he shook his head in response.

　　"Not really, yet."

　　"Good thing, Frederick called in sick, so its only the two of us now with another worker coming in later to help out." She informed him, checking out her coat.

　　Zander nodded and soon got busy due to the number of customers in the morning. Rushing here and there, carrying out orders, receiving the same disgusted and pitiful looks from the people with a heavy heart.

　　The only break was during lunch when he slipped to the side and took out his granola bar. A single penny mattered to him at the moment and he couldnt risk affording a proper lunch.

　　He looked up when he heard the bell ring signaling a new customer coming in. A voluntary groan rumbled through his chest, as he watched him in expensive-looking clothes parading to the window table as if he owned the place. No doubt he was a big shot around here, just like their grandfather.

　　"Where in hell are the workers?" He grumbled, sliding his half-eaten granola bar back into his pocket.

　　He stood up and looked around for Jenna. He was supposed to be

　　working the counter, while he was on break. A sigh of relief flew past his lips as he watched her walk to the big hot shot, adjusting her blouse in an exposing way. Zander snorted at it,

　　But he knew his relief would be short-lived, the man wouldnt budge without meeting him and not long after, he saw Jenna walking towards him with a scowl.

　　"He specifically asked you to take his order." She muttered and returned to the counter leaving him with no choice but to face him.

　　With a heavy heart and a grimace adorning his face, he fixed his cap and trudged towards the table.

　　"What would you like to order, Mr. Svein?"